Our city has accommodated many cultures over a long period of time. Eight thousand years ago, indigenous tribes populated the basin. In 1542, Portuguese explorer Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo became the first European to discover the benefits of life in LA. In 1769, a Spanish expedition led by Gaspar de Portolá unearthed a hospitable place to plant their stake. One of the members of the Portolá group, Father Juan Crespi, kept a diary, preserved for posterity. On August 1, 1769, Father Crespi wrote:
This day was one of rest, for the purpose of exploring, and especially to celebrate the jubilee of Our Lady of Los Angeles de Porciúncula.
The next day, Father Crespi added:
We halted not very far from the river, which we named Porciúncula. . . . This plain where the river runs . . . has good land for planting all kinds of grain and seeds, and is the most suitable site of all that we have seen for a mission.
Little did any of them know that, in a mere century or two, millions of folks would follow in their footsteps by relocating to what Father Crespi called a most “delightful place.”
Twelve years later, forty-four settlers known as Los Pobladores built a village on the banks of the Porciúncula. Shortly thereafter, Governor Felipe de Neve named the town after the stream: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de Los Angeles del Rio de Porciúncula. That’s how we got the official date of LA’s founding: September 4, 1781. But we should remember that the restless water body for which the city got named claimed its own nombre from the “jubilee of Our Lady of Los Angeles de Porciúncula”—which sounds like a party to me.
So I must ask: why don’t we celebrate our birthday every year on September 4? Break out the bands, cake, hats, and dancing. After all, we’re the freaking Entertainment Capital of the World. We don’t need a good excuse to indulge in a feast.
Disclaimer: I’m willing to set aside my rage at the systematic torture of our ancestors that was committed by many of these barbaric religious zealots but only for the purpose of honoring September 4. That’s because I don’t know another way to ascertain our birthday. To be clear, in no uncertain terms do I condone the cruelty that was inflicted on the innocent citizens whose only sin was lacking the means to resist a sophisticated European war machine.
In fact, I’ve found a way to turn this sordid history on its ugly face: the General Assembly of the United Nations recently designated September 5, 2025, the anniversary of the death of Mother Teresa (1997), as its International Day of Charity. Next year, on the day after LA’s birthday, it intends to recognize “the role of charity in alleviating humanitarian crises and human suffering . . . as well as of the efforts of charitable organizations and individuals.”
That provides a perfect opportunity to spread joy and peace. Every penny of profit for our party should go toward reparations for past despicable deeds. The entire exercise can serve as a way to make amends. Let trendsetting LA lead the way to global healing.
Who’s with me? I hereby give fair warning: September 4, 2025, is LA’s 244th birthday. Let the games begin—we’ll work our way up to number 250 in 2031 and see if the idea grows legs. Maybe we can promote our cause during the Summer Olympics when they arrive in July 2028.
Any party planners out there? Where should we hold the 2025 event? Who should entertain? What food should we serve? How about style, decorations, themes?
We’ve got plenty of time to make this celebration a positive step forward for past, present, and future dwellers of this fertile city of festivities.
Please post your ideas.